The Only Way is Essex. I don’t care if you’re in the U.K. or if you’re in Zimbabwe (may not be a country any longer, but it kind of rhymes), you should be watching this show if you like hot mess trash. Not the least of its apocalyptic delights, the delicious glamor model turned pseudo-reality star, Maria Fowler, who is all kinds of sextastic and a downright engorging engaging kind of young lady. Maria hit Soho the other evening, perhaps downed a hot cider or two or three, and wore about the lowest cut top allowed under the For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge laws in Jolly Old, providing just the outer end of a delightful glimpse into her fully loaded melons. Woulda shoulda coulda. Next time, Maria, you owe us one, make that two. Enjoy.