Someday, the sexy-in-her-own-right Audrina Patridge will be calling me, “Daddy’. No, not because I can finally afford some serious roleplay games with a B-level celebrity hottie of my choosing, I can’t. But I do intend to make an honest woman out of her hot mom, Lynn Patridge, and, by honest, I mean I really really want to see her nekkid in a hot tub. Is it wrong to think of such things? To wonder what it might be like to have naughty giggles between me and Audrina’s mom while Audrina calls us lame and we don’t care because we’re just hanging out in hotel robes and I’m doing sashimi shots off her moms buttockal region? Seriously, Audrina, if you want me to stop talking oogie about Lynn, stop bringing her out into the spotlight looking so damn MILFtastic. We are only human. Enjoy.
P.S. If you’ve never seen Audrina’s mom drunken cigarette smoking rant about Lauren Conrad, you must check it out. Man, I love drunken smoking hot moms more than jellybeans and life itself. Hurt me, please.