Scariest day of the year for dudes is coming. Hands down. Oh, there’s anniversaries, palms sweaty, and birthdays, nerve-wracking, but those can be smoothed out because all of her friends aren’t celebrating the same occasion on the exact same day like on Valentine’s Day. February 14th is a veritable smorgasbord of pitfalls. To that end, we do our best here at Egotastic! to alleviate that aching feeling you experience somewhere between your stomach and your taint with our own little almost sort of last minute Valentine’s shopping guide. Consider it a suggestion box, or, you know, your only chance to avoid taking Cupid’s arrow in the right eye socket. Good luck.
FTD Sweethearts Bouquet from Flowers Fast. Flowers fast is flowers, fast. You know you forgot, get them there by Monday for less dough than the 1-800 dudes (who price you out the wazoo before you checkout). Let Egotastic! tell it to you straight: no pretty flowers for your lady and you won’t be pollinating the petunias come Valentine’s evening.
Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Wi-Fi (Free 2-Day Shipping). Can’t really beat this deal from Amazon on their most popular new product. In terms of sheer Valentine’s thankability, this will get you plenty. Everybody loves their darn Kindles. If I wasn’t illiterate (weren’t illiterate?), I’d have asked my girlfriend for one most definitely. Instead, I’m getting pants. Pants!
Great Last Minute Jewelry Deals. Head’s up: chicks dig sparkly things. It’s part of the genetic makeup of women to be fascinated by things that shine, sparkle, or glimmer. Or, for simpler analogy, jewelry is to women as plasma TVs are to men, though often in completely conflicting size-to-happiness ratios. Okay, yes, I’m stereotyping, but Valentine’s Day is the ultimate old-fashioned role playing day of the year. It’s like you’ve been transported into a 1960’s Mystery Date board game. In short, you can not lose with jewelry. Fail-safe.
Free Shipping At Henry & June Lingerie. Caution. Cuidado. Warning. Buying lingerie for your wife, girlfriend, or disturbingly, your first cousin, can be extremely hazardous to your health. Yes, the upside, clearly the bright upside. We all know what it is. But, proceed with caution my dear friends, because you’ve entered a minefield fraught with powerful psychological explosives. However, if you know the risk, and you want some sweet and/or kinky-arse lingerie for your lady this Valentine’s, check out the free shipping offer going on now at Henry & June Lingerie. And, enjoy.