Irina Shayk Asstastic in Red for Blue Valentine

I have this recurring dream where I’m a world class soccer (football) player, driving up the field for a score, so talented, I maneuver not one, but two balls expertly across the pitch toward a match winning goal. And, there, defending the net, none other than the ridiculously hot, Irina Shayk. Try as a I may, I can not get my balls past the sexy Russian supermodel. Shot after shot, pounding my balls directly at her body, her face, I can’t get my twins past her for the score. Then, suddenly, in the midst of frustration, I awake from my slumber and find myself much deserving of a hands-ball penalty. I shall never be Ronaldo.

Still, nobody can rob me of my dream. Which, after seeing Irina Shayk in this body-hugging red dress at the Blue Valentine premiere last night, is likely to only get much worse. Enjoy.

Photo credit: Splash News