Dear Santa Claus,
All I want for Christmas this year is Candice Swanepoel. No, not Candice Swanepoel in a lingerie catalog like last year. Or even Candice Swanepoel naughty dreams, I already have those a plenty, but the actual super hottie Candice Swanepoel, under my aluminum faux tree from Sav-On. Extra cookies if you deliver on this one, Big Nick.
And, now, I wait. This better turn out better than Christmas ’89 when I asked for the game Battleship and got a coupon to the Sizzler restaurant instead.