If anybody ever told you that life is fair, they lied. Oh, Miranda Kerr, beautiful Aussie vision, why hast thou womb forsaken me? These Miranda Kerr pregnancy pictures in Vogue Australia continue to taunt me with the undeniable inevitability of Miranda having some sad fops baby while I’ve been practicing my entire life, or, at least the past several years, with extreme fervor, to produce the Egotastic-Kerr child that might unite this planet under one peaceful reign of super hotness and boob lust. Alas, Fate, she spat upon me with the cold expectoration of denial. I must return to my castle to plot my next ineffectual move.