Miranda Kerr Hot Nude Pregnant; It’s Killing Me!

 

I started a list this morning about things that are unfair in this world. Sure, I went through all the major earthly plagues and sufferings, followed by all the random injustices of nature, wars, international skirmishes, possible nuclear Armageddon, all made the list, but I left #1 blank, because that indescribable horribleness could only be assigned to one thing: Miranda Kerr being pregnant without me ever having entered her she-dazzle lair. Oh, sure, there she is, Miranda Kerr, one of the hottest women in the world, in W Magazine, all pregnant and hot and nude and such, and, here I am, my eyes glued to her gorgeous gestating frame, unable to blink even as the tears of jealousy plummet like sad waterfalls from my lachrymal glands.

Oh, Miranda, why hast thou reproductive system forsaken me?