I have a very simple theory about people who watch the TV show Glee: they are people who love dudes. So no matter how much my real girlfriend, my super secret online girlfriend, or just the older rich woman with frisky fingers who I escort to country club events for money insists that I must watch Glee, I really don’t. I get nervous when people break into song. It’s not gay, it’s just unnerving. What if the girl you were hitting on at the record store by pretending you loved The Cure started singing a song aloud about phoniness and guys trying to get into her pants? Audible nightmare.
However, I am so torn knowing that one of my main Hebrew school hotties, Lea Michele, and the blonde bombshell, Dianna Agron, are appearing on this show weekly, though perhaps not as sextastic as they look in these sexy schoolgirl pictures in GQ magazine. Damn if these pictures don’t bring back memories of me and my ever-so-slightly retarded friend, Tambo Talbott, spying on the girls in the high school lockerroom. I’m in lust for Lea Michele; thrice so for Diana Agron. But I must resist. I shall not break out into song. Enjoy.
(Updated to add: thanks to Egotastic! reader ‘Peter’ for pointing out that Dianna Agron is also a Hebrew School Hottie.)