Bartholomew, the guy who delivers my morning buttermilk, saw me checking out these sexy Shakira pictures from her J.P.M. photoshoot and he got all scrunchy and weird in the face.
‘Oh, she’s so little and cute. I just want to wrap her up in a blankie and put her in my–’
–’PURSE!’ I blurted out. ‘You were going to say purse.’
Now, I’ve got to find a new buttermilk guy. Still, somebody has to stand up for the little people, especially super hottie Latina midgets like Shakira. Shakira doesn’t need to be wrapped up in cute pet apparel or stored in a handbag; she’s a real person. As such, she needs to be in slinky dresses slithering around on the floor or raised platform. Te amo, Shakira.