Jessica Biel Pregnant!? Engaged!? Breaking My Heart Into Tiny Little Pieces!?

Well, this is fucking depressing news. If you believe the rumours that The Sun is reporting, Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake may be getting married soon. But that’s not all. Word is, it might be because Jessica Biel is pregnant. If you feel like killing yourself, now would be the right time. Here’s what the report said:

He will soon be proposing and has already started looking at potential wedding venues — or in his case, islands. The two have been dating since January last year and rumours are rife they may already be planning a family.

One source said Jessica has not been drinking recently, sparking pregnancy rumours. They added: “Justin is 27 and thinking about marriage and kids. For the first time in his life he is feeling settled and has definitely decided to pop the question to Jessica.”

So, lets see. Jessica Alba is pregnant. Scarlett Johansson is engaged. Sienna Miller is engaged. Alessandra Ambrosio is pregnant. Ashlee Simpson is married and pregnant. Katie Holmes is married, with a kid, and is totally batshit crazy. And now Jessica Biel!? What the fuck is going on? I swear, if Natalie Portman gets knocked up by that bearded hippie freak of a boyfriend of hers, I will fucking lose my shit.

Now, to make this news sting even more, here are the hottest pictures of Jessica Biel I could possibly find. Hurts, don’t it?

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