Paris Hilton is Going to Jail. Still Can’t Keep Her Skirt Down

 

Ding dong the bitch is dead. Well, okay, not dead, but going to jail. Yes, Paris Hilton is going to jail. At least she will be if her lawyers don’t pull some last minute crap like blaming everything on Lindsay Lohan, or, you know, winning an appeal.

On Friday, Paris was sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating her probation in a reckless driving case, by Judge Michael T. Sauer (my new personal hero), and was explicitly denied any lighter sentecing options like work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring, reports TMZ. Bitch is going to jail!

An emotional Paris, with tears welling up in her eyes, told the judge moments before the decision “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Witnesses inside the courtroom say that Paris’ parents, Rick and Kathy Hilton, were both visibly upset as the sentence was handed down. Kathy, we’re told, was especially distraught.

The judge called out her rep Elliot Mintz in court, describing his testimony as “completely worthless.” He also told Paris that he did not believe that she was unaware of her license suspension, adding that she had paperwork in her car stating that her license was suspended.

Shortly after the punishment was handed out, defense attorney Howard Weitzman said he would appeal. “I’m shocked, I’m surprised and really disheartened in the system that I’ve worked in for close to 40 years,” Weitzman said, adding that the sentence was “uncalled for, inappropriate and bordered on the ludicrous. I think she’s singled out because of who she is.”

Paris will serve her sentence at the Century Regional Detention Facility (CRDF). She will begin her sentence on June 5. If Hilton fails to report on the scheduled date, her sentence will be doubled.

Her lawyer thought it was unfair and that she was singled out because of who she is. Of course she was. Everybody fucking hates Paris Hilton, and she’s getting what she finally deserves. The fact that she wasn’t able to buy her way out this time is just plain beautiful. For some reason, Paris also fired her publicist. I guess it’s all his fault that she’s a complete idiot.

Meanwhile, Paris was out the next day, shopping, and gave everyone another upskirt flash. I don’t why she’s shopping though. Didn’t anyone tell her, but she’ll be provided with the latest in clothing and bedding fashion that the state has to offer. Maybe she’ll even get to wear the black and white prison stripes which actually is one of the hottest (and most ridiculous) trends these days. Either way, the only reason she’ll have to be flashing anyone on the inside is to get a better spot in the lunch line.

Photo credit: X17