Natalie Portman Is Boring

While Lindsay Lohan is flashing her crotch, and Paris Hilton is crying over not getting into a club, Natalie Portman is visiting war victims.

It’s boring.

Doesn’t Natalie know that all people want to read about is rocky relationships, drunken debauchery, and the all-important nipple slip?

Instead of hooking up with random D-listers, or feuding with other starlets, Natalie Portman is spending her time bringing happiness into the lives of others, and raising awareness of global issues.

It’s boring.

Natalie Portman is a good person, and it’s boring.