Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Break Up!

OMG! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes broke up! Splitsville, Dunzo, Sayonara, Adios! Is this the best news ever, or what? I think it is. Why? Because Tom Cruise is a tool, and we all knew this couple was a sham from the get go. Of course, now it looks like Katie Holmes will be left holding the bag baby.

What better to way to spend Valentine’s day, than by laughing at the most ridiculous celebrity couple of all time! Thanks to Bob from Best Week Ever for pointing us to the news from Life and Style magazine.

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes – it’s over!
Life & Style has learned exclusively that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have agreed to call off their wedding – and, ultimately, to split.

Multiple insiders confirmed the story to Life & Style, with one longtime friend of Tom’s saying: “Their relationship is basically over.” Another friend adds: “They both agreed that the marriage wouldn’t work and they wanted to end it before they learned to hate each other.”

The insiders say that Tom, 43, and Katie, 27, plan to keep up the charade of a romance until after their baby’s birth this spring. In the meantime, the couple will live in his Beverly Hills home – though sleeping in separate bedrooms – through the summer. Then, presumably, they’ll announce a separation – but Tom plans to buy Katie a home nearby so he can visit his child whenever he wishes.

“They’ll share custody,” says the friend, who claims the couple are drawing up a legal document to provide for Katie’s and the baby’s financial well-being for life. “Tom will set up Katie and the baby,” adds the pal.

Now, obviously, I’d love nothing more than to make any number of “Tom Cruise is Gay” jokes, but I’m afraid he’ll sue me to death, so I’m not going to. But you can make as many “Tom Cruise is Gay” jokes as you want, because he can’t find you.