Jessica Alba in Playboy

Playboy magazine needs a swift kick upside the head. They are toying with the fantasies of men around the world with their latest stunt. And what would that stunt be? Well, Jessica Alba appears on the cover of Playboy next month, but does she get naked? No. Of course not.

Actresses with viable careers never appear nude in Playboy. They either do it to get famous, or to revive what glimmer of fame they have left. And what with Jessica Alba being a notorious prude when it comes to nudity, and her career being what it is, it’s just wrong of Playboy to pull this kind of stunt. Sure, they may have named her their sexiest star of the year, but if there are no pictures of Jessica Alba nude inside, they are just being mean.

Other stars who made Playboy’s list, but don’t get naked include Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie, and others. What does it mean when Vanity Fair has nude pictures of Scarlett Johansson and Playboy doesn’t?

Update: March 1, 2006 – Jessica Alba Sues Playboy