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‘100ft Robot Golf’ is the Stupidest Sports Game You’ve Ever Needed In Your Life

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chris-littlechild - December 8, 2015

Whichever way you slice it, certain genres of video game are a hard sell outside of the faithful. Look at something super-specialised like the flight sim, for instance. Complex-ass controls, a joystick controller peripheral that looks like a futuristic dildo from the year 3000… it's just not for me.

Same deal with racing games, really. Not to the same extent, but these are often serious business reserved for Formula One fans and people who really, really love cars. I'll take a Mario Kart over a Gran Turismo or Forza any day.

It takes something special to bridge that gap, in short. The void between not being assed about something in real life and freaking loving it in games. How many non-soccer fans get their FIFA Soccer on on a regular basis? Not too many, that's how many.

In the world of golf sims, said void is easily traversed. All you need is a badass 100 foot robot. Ego-friends, meet 100ft Robot Golf.

Golf isn't my bag either, not remotely, but I want myself a slice of this for sure. What we have on our hands right here is the coolest thing to come out of the recent PlayStation Experience 2015 conference. Kotaku brings us the official write up:

"100ft Robot Golf is a real time golf game where you get to control impossibly large robots on their quest for par. Never get your ball stuck behind a pesky tree or skyscraper ever again! Just swing your golf club to smash even the tallest buildings out of the way - or into the way of your robot golfing buddies.

Up to four players can hit the greens, cities, mountains, and orbiting moons that comprise the Robot Golf Tour Circuit. Either split-screen or online, robot golf pilots can play frantic real-time destruction golf, classic turn based action, or even custom rulesets crafted for your own custom 100ft Robot Golf round.

As well as allowing you to destroy any obstacle in your way, 100ft Robot Golf also gives you full control in how you enact your golfing mayhem. Select from a lineup of pilots* and robots spanning a wide range of playstyles and abilities. Want to put your own personal spin on your robot? Jump into the customization hangar and create a unique build to show off online!

(*Since we know you're going to ask: yes, you can choose to be a pilot that is five small dogs in a suit.)"

I'm sold. The whole damn world's probably sold by this point. Just in case you aren't, take an ogle at this:

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